Thursday, August 19, 2010

Contemplate with Deacon Nate: The Family: A School of Holiness

Throughout the world today, the family is in crisis. Because the family is the fundamental building block of society, society is likewise in crisis. Anything that harms the family, harms society. On the flip side, John Paul II (JP2) says that everything that supports the family will positively affect society (Familiaris Consortio (FC), 75). How goes the family, so goes the world. What is the solution to this crisis? In a word, the Gospel. Who is the solution? Jesus Christ, whom John Paul II calls “the answer to the question that is every human life.”[1]
 
John Paul II was a champion of the family. In his prophetic writings, he repeatedly emphasizes that evangelization of and by the family is essential for the future of the Church and of the world. He exhorts the family to “become what you are…a community of life and love” (FC, 17). His words are sobering: “[t]he future of humanity passes by way of the family. It is therefore indispensable and urgent that every person of good will should endeavor to save and foster the values and requirements of the family” (FC, 86). Finally, he says, “the role of the family in building a culture of life is decisive and irreplaceable” (Evangelium Vitae, 92). This is why families must live a spirituality that fosters holiness and evangelization!

Vatican II teaches that “all the faithful, whatever their condition or state, are called” to holiness (Lumen Gentium, 11). What is holiness? It is the perfection of charity; it is becoming like God, who is love. JP2 declares that the family is the means of realizing the call to holiness (Ecclesia in America, 46)! The family is meant to be a school of holiness, love, and virtue. Everyday family life gives us PLENTY of opportunities to grow in holiness! We just have to be alert to them. To answer this call to holiness, the family must practice a genuine Christian spirituality. The term “spirituality” is derived from the New Testament and from the Holy Spirit. JP2 defines it as “‘life in Christ’ and ‘in the Spirit’, which is accepted in faith, expressed in love and inspired by hope.” Certain results flow from genuine spirituality, namely, the Holy Spirit makes us experience God and his revelation as real, leads us to surrender our lives to God, and reproduces in us the life of Christ.

Unfortunately, few models of family spirituality can be found in Christian tradition. In the past there have been perceived obstacles to holiness for the family, including the busyness of family life as well as spousal sexual relations. Are these truly obstacles? NO! On the contrary, Vatican II and JP2 teach that the married state is a “privileged place” for Christians to become holy! In his “Theology of the Body”, JP2 reveals that marital relations are meant to share in and reflect the love of the Trinity, by being free, total, faithful, and fruitful.

One model of family spirituality focuses on the roles assigned to us in baptism. In baptism, each family member shares in Christ’s priesthood, prophethood, and kingship, and has the privilege of and obligation to actively live out these roles. A family spirituality focused on these roles enables family members to overcome in themselves what JP2 calls the “separation of the Gospel from life” (Christifideles Laici, 34). This separation is spiritually dangerous (and is so much less exciting than a Gospel-soaked life!)

A priest’s role is to sanctify. Family members are called to share in Christ’s priesthood by sanctifying themselves and others. John Grabowski gives some ideas for this, including private prayer, prayer as a family, family attendance at Mass, and the offering of daily life to God.[2] Christian parents have the responsibility of educating their children in prayer (FC, 60). Paul VI challenges parents in this regard, saying, “Mothers, do you teach your children the Christian prayers? … And you, fathers, do you pray with your children… In this way you bring peace to your homes.”[3] Spontaneous prayer between spouses fosters intimacy, healing and forgiveness. Vatican II encourages families to pray the Liturgy of the Hours together. Various popes have strongly encouraged the Rosary, for Mary is “in a special way the Mother of Christian families” (FC, 61). The MOST important route to holiness is participation in the Eucharist and the other sacraments. Family visits to Jesus in the tabernacle are a powerful way to build family peace. Jesus instituted the sacrament of Penance (Confession) for the entire family, so that we might regularly hear him speak, through the priest, those peace-giving and joy-giving words “I absolve you”!

I am forever grateful that my parents actively shared in Christ’s priesthood. When I was growing up, after I climbed into bed each night, one of my parents would lay a hand on my head and pray a short blessing. This ancient Jewish practice did wonders for my faith by giving me a strong sense of God’s love. Sunday Rosary growing up was a bonding time in my family. Speaking of bonding, seasonal traditions such as the Advent Wreath Ceremony, the Jesse Tree, the weekly Lord’s Day Ceremony, and the Christian Seder Meal helped us all to encounter Jesus and grow in love for the Church and for one another.

The family actively shares in Christ’s prophethood, says Grabowski, by fidelity between members, hearing and sharing God’s Word with one another, catechesis by parents, mutual correction, forgiveness, the witness of a non-materialistic lifestyle, and evangelization. (FC, 52). JP2 states that the family “needs to be constantly and intensely evangelized” (FC, 51) and that it becomes an evangelizing community to the degree that it is evangelized (52). So, the prophetic role of the family concerns evangelization of, within, and by the family.

The parents’ mission of evangelizing and catechizing their kids is IRREPLACEABLE (FC, 36)! It should not be left up to the church, school, etc.; a great deal of evangelization and catechesis should happen within the family, the “domestic church.” To evangelize their kids, parents must highlight God’s presence in daily life and build an atmosphere of faith at home. Parents (and godparents) must model and teach the faith. They must model it, i.e., show what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, to be in love with God. This includes praying with children, as already discussed. They must teach it, i.e. talk about their faith and catechize with tools such as religious films, games, and books. The most important book, of course, is the Good Book. St. John Chrysostom says, “concern for spiritual things will unite the family …. Don’t think that it isn’t necessary for a child to listen to the Scriptures …. It is necessary for everyone to know Scriptural teachings, and this is especially true for children.”[4] They must never go it alone, but “collaborate responsibly with all the other evangelizing and catechetical activities present and at work in the ecclesial community at the diocesan and parochial levels” (FC, 53). Evangelization by parents is crucial for the fostering of healthy vocations to marriage, priesthood, and consecrated life.

Parents aren’t the only ones called to evangelize! Paul VI says that parents and children proclaim the Gospel to one another, and that “such a family becomes the evangelizer of many other families, and of the neighborhood of which it forms part” (EN, 71). By their joy and love for each other, family members witness to other family members that don’t have faith or don’t regularly practice (FC, 54). By fulfilling its vocation to love, the family “[manifests] to all people the Savior’s living presence in the world” (FC, 51). Other prophetic practices families can do together include inviting neighbors, friends, and relatives to meals, parties, holiday gatherings, parish events, Christmas caroling, etc., and praying at abortion clinics together.

In the Christian view, power and authority is not an opportunity to control or dominate, but to serve! Jesus says, “I came not to be served, but to serve.” Each family member is called to actively share in Christ’s kingship by big and small acts of self-sacrificing service within the family and society. They are called to discover the image of God and the face of Christ in every person, especially the suffering, the poor, and the weak (FC, 64). Parents should see the most mundane (and perhaps tedious) duties of parenthood, such as changing diapers, as participation in Christ’s kingship! They should serve their kids as they would serve Christ himself! There are many ways families can live their kingly role. Parents can bring their families to soup kitchens; this was a powerful way to serve Christ in the poor for me and my family. They can lovingly encourage kids to serve in the parish (e.g. volunteering at VBS) and to get involved in work camps (e.g. the Group camps) or mission trips. Vatican II says that a special kind of kingly service is leading others to the King and to his Kingdom!

If families strive to live a spirituality based on living Christ’s priesthood, prophethood, and kingship, they will answer the call to holiness and become an “intimate community of life and love” wherein “all the members evangelize and are evangelized” (FC, 17; 52). May the Holy Family intercede for all Christian families, and may the Holy Spirit draw us all into loving communion with the greatest of all families, the Holy Trinity.


[1] John Paul II, “New Evangelization Should Inspire All Your Teaching and Catechesis,” http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=324 (accessed April 16, 2010).

[2] John S. Grabowski, “Called to Holiness: Spirituality for Families in Light of Ecclesia in America.” Logos 5:4 (Fall 2002): 75-95.
[3] Paul VI, General Audience Address, Aug. 11, 1976: INSEGNAMENTI DI PAOLO VI, XIV (1976), 640.
[4] St. John Chrysostom, “Homily 21,” On Marriage and Family Life, trans. Catharine P. Roth and David Anderson (Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1986), 67.

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